I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
