Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
