Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
