Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dick very happy bro
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
