Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
