i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize