I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
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Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
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I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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