I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
