i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
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ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
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Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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