someone get that fucking seahorse.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
