Got a toothbrush?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I need to align my fucking chakras
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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