I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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