if you like me you must not know who I am
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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