just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
