Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
