Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
