so explain again why im purple
no
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
