There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
