Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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