A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
