My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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