What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
