bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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