Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
