My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
