I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize