We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
