dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she told me i tasted like america
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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