im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
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he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
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He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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