So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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