If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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