The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
