oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
