Duck Duck Cougar?
i just google imaged poop.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
