No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
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You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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