Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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