Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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