hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
