so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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