i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
