no, he came in my armpit
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
