Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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