We're like a lot better than the average bears
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
