Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
