Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
