I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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