What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
