i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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