it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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