I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
