Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
