I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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