honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
it's like heaven, but drunker
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
