One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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