i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
