I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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