I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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