no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
