i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
